Tag Archives: death

forever and ever, amen

15 Jul

or, only the good die young.

in an attempt to Be Friends, the ex-boyfriend (of the “she doesn’t love you” post) came over recently for a chat.

i suppose it went well, since no yelling was involved, although there was an overabundance of eye-rolling (he’s bought into some sort of self-help/scientology-sounding system, full of stars and collisions or something. i stopped listening after he said we were all stars…or maybe he said planets. anyway.).

ex tells me he’s getting all these new tattoos, or getting some filled in, soon. his tattoos usually make an appearance at least once per conversation.

and, as always, he tells me: “you need to get a tattoo.” (this is usually followed by, “it would be so hot,” which is usually followed by me rolling my eyes some more)

and i give him my same response: there is little in this world i love enough to get it tattooed on me permanently.

looking around the room, full of pictures or references to music, tv, books and movies that i love, he tells me, “you can’t tell me that out of everything in this room, there’s nothing you’d want a tattoo of.”

i told him no, there wasn’t. outside my family, there are only two things on god’s green earth that i’m certain i will love FOREVER: my very, very closest bffs (only like 2 people), and bette davis.

i thought more about it later and decided i could amend this to include jeff buckley and the beatles.

therefore: give me my best friends, my bette, my beatles and my jeff, or give me death.


then it hit me. so many of my artists i love – and the ones who especially mean a lot to me, who are like idols – are dead.

this really hit home a few weeks later, on the anniversary of michael jackson’s death. mj meant a lot to me – he, my cousin shawna and my barbies were my constant companions growing up. i remembered him on june 25 by watching “this is it” with my mom…while wearing my john lennon shirt.

john lennon, michael jackson, bette davis, jeff buckley, michael hutchence, ian curtis, hank williams.

all artists. all artists i love, almost worship. all dead.

i’m sure someone smarter than me has written blogs or books or something about why people are so enamored with celebrities, especially dead ones.

i think some of it is the entire romantic/tragic aspect, as so many celebrities seem to pass away way, way, way before their time, if in fact they ever had a “time” at all.

and it’s interesting to see how so many of these people are turned into near-saints after their death. i’m not saying mj was guilty of anything in particular, but come on, we’re all guilty of things, big and small. jackson was only ever perfect on the dance floor, but since june 25, 2009, his reputation glows as a child’s might.

i wonder, too, how safe/lazy it is to idolize someone who’s passed away. they have no way of ever letting you down. they can’t make a bad album or movie, they can’t attack a car with an umbrella, they can’t go on rants (and those rants can’t be made into awesome remixes), they can’t jump on couches. death can turn a b-movie into a classic and a forgettable song into the kind you cry to.

maybe i’m overthinking all this, but it’s just funny how i give such love and devotion to late stars, while the ones who are still here, well, i love them, but not to that scary degree. i don’t know. i guess it feels like, if i ever met joss whedon, or jack white, or jay-z (what is with all these j’s?) or gerard way or cyndi lauper, i’d feel love and fascination and want to ask them a billion questions. for my dearly departed idols…it’s just a stronger feeling.

kinda funny how that is, i guess.

who knows. maybe ex was right. maybe we are all stars. or planets. or something. and maybe we’re all colliding…just in different ways, in different times.

ok. somebody stop me.

a dreaded sunny day… 1.

23 Jun

“so we go inside and we gravely read the stones
all those people all those lives
where are they now?
with the loves and hates
and passions just like mine
they were born
and then they lived and then they died
seems so unfair
i want to cry.”

“cemetery gates,” the smiths

my 2010 summer will be full of dead people.

i decided to take a summer cemetery tour this summer/fall, to visit cemeteries all within about an hour or so of me and take pictures and notes and be an all around geek/weirdo. i’m trying to hit about a cemetery a week, and i was successful in my first two weeks. i’ve had to skip the last two weeks for various reasons, but i’m hoping to get back in the game this weekend. it hasn’t helped that i’ve felt guilty that i have THREE cemeteries worth of photos to post. 🙂

i’ve always liked cemeteries. i don’t know why. i guess because i like the idea of all these hundreds or thousands of stories, right there in one place. there’s the rub, though – sometimes, in a historical cemetery, the stories are right there for you to learn; for most cemeteries, though, you have to learn the stories some other way, through somebody’s kin, or you just go in blindly, with no stories at all.

still, the names, the dates, the epitaphs… i love it, whether or not i know the tales behind them all.

so, below, photos and stories. and, if i took a picture of your relative’s grave, i hope you consider it a compliment – i only take photos of graves i find interesting, for whatever reason.
(ps., you can click on all these pictures to view the full sizes)

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