forever and ever, amen

15 Jul

or, only the good die young.

in an attempt to Be Friends, the ex-boyfriend (of the “she doesn’t love you” post) came over recently for a chat.

i suppose it went well, since no yelling was involved, although there was an overabundance of eye-rolling (he’s bought into some sort of self-help/scientology-sounding system, full of stars and collisions or something. i stopped listening after he said we were all stars…or maybe he said planets. anyway.).

ex tells me he’s getting all these new tattoos, or getting some filled in, soon. his tattoos usually make an appearance at least once per conversation.

and, as always, he tells me: “you need to get a tattoo.” (this is usually followed by, “it would be so hot,” which is usually followed by me rolling my eyes some more)

and i give him my same response: there is little in this world i love enough to get it tattooed on me permanently.

looking around the room, full of pictures or references to music, tv, books and movies that i love, he tells me, “you can’t tell me that out of everything in this room, there’s nothing you’d want a tattoo of.”

i told him no, there wasn’t. outside my family, there are only two things on god’s green earth that i’m certain i will love FOREVER: my very, very closest bffs (only like 2 people), and bette davis.

i thought more about it later and decided i could amend this to include jeff buckley and the beatles.

therefore: give me my best friends, my bette, my beatles and my jeff, or give me death.

death.

then it hit me. so many of my artists i love – and the ones who especially mean a lot to me, who are like idols – are dead.

this really hit home a few weeks later, on the anniversary of michael jackson’s death. mj meant a lot to me – he, my cousin shawna and my barbies were my constant companions growing up. i remembered him on june 25 by watching “this is it” with my mom…while wearing my john lennon shirt.

john lennon, michael jackson, bette davis, jeff buckley, michael hutchence, ian curtis, hank williams.

all artists. all artists i love, almost worship. all dead.

i’m sure someone smarter than me has written blogs or books or something about why people are so enamored with celebrities, especially dead ones.

i think some of it is the entire romantic/tragic aspect, as so many celebrities seem to pass away way, way, way before their time, if in fact they ever had a “time” at all.

and it’s interesting to see how so many of these people are turned into near-saints after their death. i’m not saying mj was guilty of anything in particular, but come on, we’re all guilty of things, big and small. jackson was only ever perfect on the dance floor, but since june 25, 2009, his reputation glows as a child’s might.

i wonder, too, how safe/lazy it is to idolize someone who’s passed away. they have no way of ever letting you down. they can’t make a bad album or movie, they can’t attack a car with an umbrella, they can’t go on rants (and those rants can’t be made into awesome remixes), they can’t jump on couches. death can turn a b-movie into a classic and a forgettable song into the kind you cry to.

maybe i’m overthinking all this, but it’s just funny how i give such love and devotion to late stars, while the ones who are still here, well, i love them, but not to that scary degree. i don’t know. i guess it feels like, if i ever met joss whedon, or jack white, or jay-z (what is with all these j’s?) or gerard way or cyndi lauper, i’d feel love and fascination and want to ask them a billion questions. for my dearly departed idols…it’s just a stronger feeling.

kinda funny how that is, i guess.

who knows. maybe ex was right. maybe we are all stars. or planets. or something. and maybe we’re all colliding…just in different ways, in different times.

ok. somebody stop me.

2 Responses to “forever and ever, amen”

  1. luciana00br July 18, 2010 at 8:13 pm #

    Hey there, how’s it going? Just wondering around and bumped into a Whedonite! XD Well, I’m just starting off a blog about a few things, amongst the boss and I’d be really glad if you’d stop by sometime. I’m still getting to know wordpress and all it has to offer, so if you’d happen to give me some tips or show me some ropes, I’d really appreciate it. Stop by if you can, hope you enjoyed it as I enjoyed it here. Thanks!

    • sheenabarnett July 20, 2010 at 11:05 am #

      I strolled by yours – love what I see! I’ll definitely check your blog out again soon 🙂

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