A movie or a measure?

19 Apr

I dream. A lot.

Some nights, it’s quality entertainment. Some nights, there are never-ending nightmares. But most nights, it’s purely a nuisance. It’s like my brain never turns off, and that’s such an exhausting thing.

I know. This has nothing to do with pop culture or entertainment, but since those things are my passions, they usually end up in my dreams in one way or another.

I’ve been trying to come up with ways to keep a kind of dream journal (as lame as that sounds) because some of them are so funny/weird I have to relate them (though I’ve a policy that I’m not ever going to talk about the nightmares, because trust me, you don’t want to know them). So I thought, hey, I can use this space to share the pop culture-related ones. 

Trust me when I say this isn’t necessary reading – mostly doing this for myself. But if you want to read about four of my weirdest, pop culture-y-est dreams, read on, Pony Boy.

Graveyard Boy

I was in a really historical cemetery, one with lots of really interesting plots and stories. Someone told me I should visit a little boy’s plot.

I was told that if I would visit the little boy’s grave, he would sing a song. There was no way I could pass that up.

So, I visited the boy’s grave. There were two parts to his headstone – there was the flat concrete part but then iron work on top of it. I couldn’t see him, but in my mind’s eye he looked like a member of The Umbrella Academy.  He wasn’t in a casket, but was sitting on the dirt floor of his grave, with his arms around his knees, looking up.

He sang his song – which I can’t remember now – but I remember it was heartbreakingly sad. I told him, “You know, that song was sad. How about I play you something a little happier?” So, I played him “A Sweet Summer’s Night on Hammer Hill” by Jens Lekman. Yep…I played him probably the most inconsiderate, poppy song there is. When it was over, he didn’t say anything, he just looked at me (again in my mind’s eye).
The end.

Colin

So I dream about being pregnant pretty often. This is my first dream in which I didn’t give birth to a baby.

I was pregnant, and was getting ready for work. All of the sudden it was like, whoa, this baby’s coming NOW. Fast forward maybe an hour or so, and I was giving birth in my computer room, with a midwife. After the baby was born, the midwife took it and was holding it with her back turned to me. I was ready to see my baby, so I asked her to hand it over.

“There’s something wrong with your baby,” she said as she very slowly, very dramatically, turned around. “It’s a rabbit.”

At that point I went into giving her a total what-for. I told her it was MY baby – I didn’t care if it was a rabbit or not, it was MINE and I was going to love it no matter what. I told her to leave and she did.

For the longest time, I didn’t know what to name my baby. I considered naming it something related to John Lennon, since I love John Lennon, but I eventually settled on Colin – named after Colin Meloy of The Decemberists.

I treated Colin I’d treat a kid. I made him wear band/vintage-looking shirts, and because I couldn’t find pants small enough for him, I made him wear jeans that come with Cabbage Patch dolls. When I see Colin in my head, I can imagine him looking kind of like this, and he’s wearing those little jeans and a black shirt with neon lightning strikes.
I made my parents play with him and keep reminding them, “You know, he is your grandchild.”

At the end of the dream, Colin and I were at a photographer’s studio where we’re going to have a family portrait taken. The folks in front of us were nearly done, and we were waiting on Colin’s dad (who’s anonymous) to come to the studio. As they leave, I realized Colin’s dad isn’t coming, and I had an epiphany – I’m the single mother of a black rabbit named Colin, and I make him wear band T-shirts.
The end. 

The End of the World 1

So the world decides to end.

My mom and I were going back to my apartment from getting groceries. As we start to head inside, vampires attacked.

They had the heads of Gerard Way of My Chemical Romance, but the bodies of the vampires from “Nightmare Before Christmas.” 

My mom and I hurried inside but my neighbors who randomly wandered outside got bitten. Somehow, we figured it out that the world was ending and was coming in the form of plagues – the vampires were first.

We managed to go from my apartment to my parents’ house, unharmed. Then the next plague hit – werewolves. We knew not to go outside or we’d get attacked, but someone accidentally opened the door and a werewolf got in. The werewolf looked like it came from a random Playstation game from like 1999 – in other words, not very realistic, and really digital.

We had to beat the werewolf up to get it back outside, but we finally did. The final plague – what would kill off whoever was left – wasn’t so much as a plague as it was like a symbol. If you got the final plague, it meant you were a bad person. And guess what? We got it. 

The final plague were these babies that would attach themselves to your door frame. They were shaped like babies, but they had stubble on their faces (they were all obviously male) and had these sharp claws for fingers, so the could stay stuck to your door frame. They’d just sit on your door way and stare at you, slowly driving you insane. 

We got one, but we didn’t want anyone to know we got one. So my mom and I decided to get rid of it. So we picked it up (it was really heavy) – although it looked like a baby, it wasn’t one, after all – and we threw it and slammed the door behind it.
The end. 

The End of the World 2

My cousin, who irl lives in Alabama, moved to Germany, and we went to visit him. My other cousins and I were going to go out dancing one night but my mom said she thought it was going to get stormy.

I looked out the window and realized that it wasn’t getting stormy – the sky was actually on fire. The bottom part of the sky (yep there are parts) was big, billowy black smoke, while the top part was full of flames flickering upward. I shouted, “The sky’s on fire!” and we all ran downstairs, because the sky was catching the tall buildings on fire.

Fast-forward a few days. Most of the buildings were damaged because the sky was on fire, but the world hadn’t ended yet – that was still coming. Everyone was living out on the streets. My family had taken up residence under a bridge, and I was so thankful we had a bridge. I actually thought, “We are so lucky to have a bridge. Not everybody else has a bridge this nice. We should be thankful for this.”

The government was taking care of us by dropping off food every so often. Government officials drove up in in these gargantuan golf carts, and dropped off huge amounts of Little Debbie snack cakes. That’s all we got. I remember thinking, “I sure am proud we’ve got these Little Debbies…I love sweets…everybody’s going to get sick of sweets eventually, but I won’t.”

Later, I was bored, so I decided to go riding around. I took my aunt with me. 

We drove to the hotel we were at when the sky fire started, and we drove down below it, to the underground parking lot. A lot of teens wearing clothes they obviously purchased at Hot Topic were down there, hanging out, because it was all rebellious and cool to hang out in a nearly-destroyed building that could fall in on you at any second.

I decided to play some music. I put on “Teenagers” by My Chemical Romance, but I had it up so loud that the first few drum parts made the building started to crumble, so I turned it down.
The end.

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