Life with Lucy: Yes, Lucy, Rice Cakes Taste Like Cardboard

25 Jan


I’ve changed my mind about taking partial responsibility for Lucy’s bad behavior.

Last weekend, I came to the stark realization there is no way I can possibly anticipate or prohibit all the mischief that she can manage find.

Since the bottled water episode, I have become even more proactive about looking for Lucy temptations. (By the way, I am still finding stray bottles in her secret toy stashes. Some are empty, some are full and some are in between.)

Like I said before, I pick up any stray shoes and put them in the bedroom, shut the bedroom door, put the trash can in the bathroom, FIRMLY secure the bathroom door, check the kitchen counter for anything remotely within her reach and finally make one last sweep through the house for any odd pens or items of mischief within her reach.

When I am finally sure I have picked up everything she could possibly destroy, I pull up the blinds on the kitchen door (she mutilated the ones at our old apartment within 24 hours of moving in) and exit the premises.

Back in the day, when I was naive about Lucy’s ‘super natural abilities,’ my exit routine was a little less rigid. Back then I would leave the trash out if was only going to be gone long enough to pick up take-out. Yeah, it only took a few times before I learned that she can empty the entire contents of a full garbage can in less than 10 minutes.

After this past weekend I am certain that Lucy has the ability to fly.  On Saturday morning Lucy and I went about our usual routine. We went outside. She ate her morning kibble. I ate my cereal, while she drooled on my leg and blew her kibble breath in my face. Then I prepared to leave.

I was only going to be gone for about an hour and a half at most. I explained this to her and asked her to be a good girl. Normally Saturday is our day to relax and lie on the couch together. But I had promised some friends that I would check in on their four-legged friends while they were out of town. I explained to Lucy that I was doing a good deed for some of her furry friends.

I was only gone for an hour and fifteen minutes, but that was more than enough time for Lucy to make her move. When I peered in the back door through the raised blinds I knew something was up, I just couldn’t figure it out. I could tell she was wearing her “I’m sorry” look. I opened up the door and let her out in to the backyard.

Then I began to wander through the house looking for her most recent victim.
I found it in the living room… a bag of caramel rice cakes with the side ripped open. She had eaten at least half of the bag before stopping. Even then she probably only quit because she realized they taste like cardboard…not nearly as good as the stuff she finds in the trash.

When I’d left home an hour and fifteen minutes ago the rice cakes were in a grocery bag on the middle of the pub table that is 42 inches tall. Lucy is only 22 inches from paw to ear. Go figure.

I guess she was determined to start working on shedding some of the winter weight she has put on – a whopping two pounds.

The positive in this situation is that she didn’t eat the rice cakes and drink the bottled water at the same time. Talk about feeling bloated!

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